Of course you do. That’s their defence mechanism. Otherwise parents around the world would bash in the skulls of screaming babies at 2:47 am. I understand that you think your baby is cute and I’m going to grant you all the privileges that go with that belief.
Now I’d like you to grant me something in return.
I don’t think your baby is cute. Really. I don’t. In fact I can’t tell the difference between your baby and any other baby.
Ya know what? I give even odds that if I took your baby and four other random babies and mixed them up you couldn’t tell your baby from the others either. Parents can’t shut up about how cute their babies are but the truth is all babies look the same.
What’s really going on here is justification of your decision to have a child. Having a baby (or multiple children) is a huge investment for parents.
- You spent that 7 seconds having sex.
- I’ve never been pregnant for 9 months but I’m certain it’s not fun.
- Childbirth? Yea, that looks like a good time. Even with the drugs.
- And then you will have to spend money on this parasite spawn of yours until . . . Well let’s just say that given current trends he/she/it/them may be living with you for, oh I don’t know, your entire life?
Of course you think your baby is cute, precious and one-of-a-kind. Otherwise you would look in the mirror and ask yourself “why did I screw up my life?” Thing is the rest of us don’t need to get in on this justification. No, I don’t want to see your baby photos. Yes, I’m being nice and smiling and nodding my head but that’s just acting. It’s not an accurate reflection of what is going on in my mind.
But wait, it gets worse. Because this is the start of you screwing up your parenting duties.
Soon after the baby is born parents notice the children have & do certain things. They have sex organs and they expel bodily waste. For some reason you parents think this is cute and feel the need to tell the world about it because you believe the rest of us will think it’s cute.
You are screwing up your children.
Case study number one. I’m talking to the mother of an eleven year old girl and blah blah blah whatever when it is announced that last night this young girl wet her bed. Did I need to know that? Further more does she need her mother telling people this?
Case study number two. My mother feels the need to tell people the story about when she had to remove a tick from my testicles. Oh she thinks this is just so cute! She laughs. Oh she laughs and smiles and gleefully tells the story with all the details. My son has testicles. And a tick was on them. Oh it was so cute! Isn’t that just the cutest thing?
She doesn’t know why I don’t want to go out with her in public. She tells stories like this to total strangers.
When I was a teenager and attempted to talk to a girl she would come over and tell the girl about the time I . . . CENSORED . . .
Then my mother would ask me “when are you going to get a girlfriend?”
Gosh . . . I don’t know.
Parents. If you have, will, do or are telling anyone other than the child’s other biological parent any story that involves your child’s sex organs or body waste you need to stop. Now. Your children are not going to think this is cute once they are old enough to understand what you are saying.