Parents, are you not only doing it wrong but doing it for the wrong reason?
I mean did you have children for the wrong reason to begin with? If so you are definitely doing it wrong.
Here are three wrong reasons to have children.
1. You want someone to take care of you when you are old. This one is popular. Some of the parents who have posted here on YADDIW have tipped their hands that they are doing it wrong.
As Amanda squeals in a comment she posted on this blog
. . . what will you do when you are 75, in a wheelchair, and no one comes to visit you?
If you are having children because you want someone to come visit you when you are old you are definitely doing it wrong. Simply having children does not mean they are going to feel an obligation to come visit you when you are old. Nor does it mean they will feel an obligation to support you financially, physically or emotionally when you are old. Especially once your children find out you only gave birth to them because you expect them to provide for you when you are old.
If you want people to visit you and care for you when you are old it makes more sense to make friends who will spend time with you and save money so you can pay young people (who need jobs) to help you with the limitations that come with old age.
Here is a news flash for you. Children are people. Not slaves for you to emotionally blackmail into serving your physical and emotional needs when you get old. I know many parents who have grown old abandoned by their children. You might be joining the ranks if you are not careful.
2. You want to keep a man. Really ladies, let’s be honest. Some of you got pregnant simply because you thought it would blackmail (are you starting to see a trend here?) some man into staying with you. Or marrying you. Or divorcing his wife and marrying you. Sometimes it might even work.
Oh good for you. You kept a man.
But is this really a good reason to create another human? To blackmail someone into staying with you so as to provide for your emotional needs? It’s not and you are definitely doing it wrong.
1/2a. There is a subset of the first two. The situation where you have a baby because you are lonely. I know what you are thinking. “If I have a baby then someone will love me.”
Really? Not so. Instead of making a human turn off the TV and go make some friends.
3. Poor planning. I’m no expert on birth control but I’m always somewhat amazed when people remark that the child was “unplanned” or an “accident”.
First of all, I’m not sure how you accidentally get pregnant. Maybe you were walking down the stairs, tripped, fell on a penis which then ejaculated and fertilized your egg. I suppose it could happen. It’s possible . . . but probable? Not so much.
Are you familiar with birth control? Here is a list of all the forms of birth control I can think of just off the top of my head. No googling here at all.
- female condoms
- that cylinder they put in your arm
- hormone shots
- spermicidal foam
- “the” pill
- not having sex
- not inserting the penis
- pulling out
- having your tubes tied
- morning after pill
- and of course . . . television, internet and computer games
I have no doubt even more exist that this. And for some of you the best form of birth control available is your personality, or lack of personality as the case may be.
If you aren’t smart enough to use birth control do you really think you are smart enough to raise a child? You probably do, but I don’t.
I do however think that you are doing it wrong. Definitely doing it wrong.
Readers, which ones did I miss? What are the other wrong reasons to have a baby? Please post below.