Why Men Don’t Want To Have Children

There really isn’t much I can add to this. So I’ll add this. Aaron touches on all the things that separate the good parents from the sorts of self-righteous, attention seeking, self-centred douchbagettes that post hate filled comments on You Are Definitely Doing It Wrong. The douchbagettes who hide behind their children in order to excuse their bad parenting. “You … Read The Full Post

Get Ready To Have Your Feelings Hurt

Welcome Back Snowflakes Long time no see. This post marks the return of You Are Definitely Doing It Wrong as a website which is actively updated. At this point I’m only promising you one post every week. I have other things to do besides pissing off bad parents. Yes it’s fun. Yes there are so many of you. But I … Read The Full Post

Three Wrong Reasons to Have Children

Parents, are you not only doing it wrong but doing it for the wrong reason? I mean did you have children for the wrong reason to begin with?  If so you are definitely doing it wrong. Here are three wrong reasons to have children. 1. You want someone to take care of you when you are old.  This one is … Read The Full Post

Too Much Praise Will Only Hurt Your Child

You get a sticker for showing up.

How are your little angels doing after the holiday?  I mean your adorable little children, not your dogs.  How is the preciousness factor holding up?  It is that “special” time of the year. What’s that you say? Your children are special year ’round?  No.  No they are not. Acting like everything your children do is special is not going to … Read The Full Post

Your Child Does Not Want To Sit On Sants’s Lap.

We survived another Christmas.  Family time.  Love.  Joy.  Peace on Earth.  Goodwill towards all men.  Sugar cookies.  Presents.  Songs.  Santa. And traumatizing your children. I’m a bit unclear on what the purpose of Santa Claus is suppose to be but I’m quite clear on what Santa is doing.  Screwing up the minds of small children because you feel the need … Read The Full Post

Your baby. My brunch. Why must they intersect?

Is this your child? Take it back home. Now.

Today’s “You Are Definitely Doing It Wrong” wake-up call to parents is written by guest expert Maggie May. Sunday brunch is something to be treasured. Long held near and dear to my sanity and heart, the coffee flows freely, there better be hollandaise, and You are ruining it. Actually let me be fair, your snot-nosed, won’t stop banging on the … Read The Full Post

Your Child Is A Terrorist.

Your Child Is A Terrorist.

Parents. Do not negotiate with your child. Negotiating with terrorists has never worked for the government and it’s not going to work for you.  Stop.  I can’t tell you have many times I’ve hear some parent say something to the effect of “If you clean your room I’ll let you have a cookie.” This is the worst thing you can … Read The Full Post

Don’t Buy Your Kids that Puppy

Dog Eating Your Money

I am proud to present my 2nd money saving tip for parents, from my award winning series of money saving tips: don’t buy your kids that puppy. The Deception If they beg and plead for a dog, promising to take care of it, pick up after it, train it, and feed it, take their assertions for what they really are: … Read The Full Post

Dear Baby, I want my best friend back

Out of solidarity to my BFFs, I can’t blame you for your behaviors. I can blame your babies. I was here first. I knew your mother for years, decades even, before you came along. We were inseparable during high school and college and after we moved away from one another and had our first careers. Your mother and I were … Read The Full Post